First day in 2019 has come to the end

The day has been started at another house surrounded with lots of joy and love

I dont know whether that place will be my destiny

I dont know whether he is my Mr Right

Year 2018 was another tough year for me. Many things happened unexpectedly. Anyway, thanks as we have overcome the challenges

I have no idea what will be happen in this year. But really, i hope that everyone around me stay healthy and happily

Also wish myself have a great time by he is always at my side, without guessing each other. Lets start tomorrow with the love in our soul

Begin year 2019 in the noise of fire crackers

For so many years I stay on my own to pass the time, this is the first year I stay in a family to wait for the time

I have no idea what is my identity to stay in this house at this second and honestly I really have no idea about this relationship

Wishing myself stay healthy in this year

Hoping that I would have a better year in every aspect, no matter in work, family or relation

Blessed year!!!

For the year 2017, I believe 21 June would be the worst day of my life. I wake up early morning in a very good mood where I myself did not notice about it until a colleague came to ask me. Then I start thinking, maybe she is true as I had post something very depression lately and this morning everything is very good in my sight. Busy in school whole day and in the evening all of it ruined.
Ya, I know. I really know that the relationship wl not blooming since two years ago, fot so many times I tried to persuade myself, he is a good man, he is doing his work hardly, also to take care the family. He and I, we are in the same condition where we have to take care our nephews. Always remind myself not to troublesome him. But he never have trust on me, never, never and never.
This is the time for me to wake up. Really, you should wake up and walk out from the mistake. A guy who don't appreciate your give, it is impossible that he will care for you. Leave him, don't cry. You deserve another better days without his exists in your life.
Clap for yourself and believe me, you can do it! Stay strong!

I feel so lost today.

I know nobody is really care about me.

I am just a simple lady, I need care and I need love. 

I never ask for a rich man or even a man who spend all his time with me.

If possible, I really wish to restart my life or maybe just give it a full stop. 

I am really sad and disappointed with my life. I have spoilt mine and I don't want to mess others any more. I have no idea who can be my listener or lend me d shouler for me to lean down.

So many years, I try to let go my past, let go everything that is unhappy, but still, I fail and fail and fail. I fail in everything. I don't know how long I could stand all d sadness and failure, it makes me feel pain. 

These days were really a bad days.

Everytime when I though everything is going very well, then there must be smtg jump out to show me that, hey, u are naive! How can d world be come so perfect? Please la.. Wake up wake up!! No way okay!!

This was a terrible week for me.

The past of a close uni-mate was actually killed my spirit. Then, things happened continuously out of my expectations. I told myself, yienchi, don't be sad, u have ur peace n lovely family.. Cheer up!!

I stand strong to take care of my family, I thought my brothers are both doing very well in peninsular malaysia, really.. I thought they are in a very good condition.

However, things will never happen as u wish! 

Wei, where are you? It's no big deal for lost ur job u know. Whole family need you. Your lovely son need you. We are one family, unity is the most important thing for all of us. I really hope tat u will give us a call, just let us know tat u are fine. Awaiting for ur news and we do miss u here

Am I too much?

I think, I am..

Being a woman is so tiring.. Some how I know I myself is actually a person who should leave d world to restart her life.

Deep in my heart I realise that my life is totally spoilt at d moment I abort my baby.

Being a second child at home is not a good thing for me. I alway felt that my existence in the family is too much, I dun fight with my sister do for the attention from family. I admit that I almost not rely on my family for anything. And maybe for this reason I rely so mch on my partner who is also my boyfriend. Anyway, relying at boyfriend is now killing myself till I don't have anyone to share my feelings. To be honest, I felt lonely, very lovely. Now, tomorrow and the coming days..
How should I overcome my bad feeling?
I have no idea and I am actually very worry about myself. I'm worried if I fail to go through these challenges..
Who can help me and who can save me?

2016年6月14日

晴

人，活着，究竟是为了什么？

我的人生…到目前为止，不短、也不算长…

然而，我总是觉得自己经历了太多太多，早已满身是伤且伤痕累累…

或许是我要求太多，是我过于贪心、好高骛远…

我不知道自己到底从何时开始变得那么悲…

一份感情到底意味着什么？家庭又代表了什么？

自小我就很要强，不喜欢与人相比，甚至讨厌与人相比。在家里，很多时候为了避免与姐争吵我都会一个人呆着…不争妈妈，也习惯性地让姐姐和妈妈聚在一块，真的我真的不想争也不想有任何冲突。

其实，我也想做个柔弱女子…但是我不能弱！弱者需要被保护。

谁能疼我？谁能爱我？谁能宠我？

男生？有吗？

我真的活的好累了…

你…会是那个疼爱我的人吗？

其实…我深知…你 不 是！！

好想离开这里…